This is what it's all about

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DerbyChamp
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This is what it's all about

Post by DerbyChamp »

I respectfully withdraw a story which had special meaning to me and caused me to shed a few tears in the privacy of my home last evening.
Last edited by DerbyChamp on Fri Oct 12, 2007 10:22 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Stan Pope
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Re: This is what it's all about

Post by Stan Pope »

DerbyChamp wrote:So, right there on the spot I pulled the wheels off, opened up my pwd car first aid kit, poured some tungsten bb's into those holes, sealed them with tungsten putty, took out my pro axle guide, put the wheels on correctly, glued them in place, did a quick polish on the axles, and applied some lubricant.
Good story if she were 5 years old. If she were 7 or 8 or more years old, I'd have liked it better if the above paragraph had read something like "So, right there I pulled off a wheel and had her pull off the other three, poured in a couple tungsten bb's into those holes and had her pour in some more and seal them with putty, etc." Then she is smiling about here own accomplishments. :)
Stan
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DerbyChamp
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Re: This is what it's all about

Post by DerbyChamp »

I guess I made the mistake of believing that after 20 years of dedicated volunteer service promoting positive parental involvement in the pinewood derby, that persons of goodwill would give me the benefit of the doubt and assume that when I spoke of helping a little girl build a car, that I would do it in a manner which was beneficial to the child.

However, for the record the little girl in question was 6 years old. When she first came over to my home, I put four car templates on the kitchen table and asked her to pick the one she liked the best. I then held the template while she traced the pattern on her block of wood. I cut out the car and then gave her some sandpaper so that she could sand her car and make it look finished.

Then she, her mother, and I walked back into my storeroom and I took a bottle of bullet lube off the shelf. I asked her if she knew what it was. Neither she nor her mother had ever seen graphite before. I opened the bottle and put a pinch in her hand then let her rub it around. I asked her if she could see how it would help her car go fast. I then asked her to help her mother put some in the wheels before she brought her finished car down to the derby the next night.

The following night she arrived late and unprepared without a mother or a father to help her. I quickly did the things described in my original story and then handed her another bottle of bullet lube graphite. I said, “Do you remember what this is?” I asked her to take the brush and put some of the graphite down inside the wheels. She did this and then spent a few minutes spinning the wheels with her fingers. I then asked her to put the car back on the scale and see if it weighed in correctly, which she did.

The entire experience was a very touching and emotional event for me, especially because she was there alone with no family support at all. That was the point of my original telling of this story and is the reason I did not belabor the details of the actual car building.
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Re: This is what it's all about

Post by pwdarchitect »

DC,

Anyone helping a child achieve and learn like the way I think you did will be blessed. I did not get a chance to read your story before you edited but from what you have just described, you had an important part in making this little girls happiness the highlight of HER day/night.
The kindness that you showed her on both occasions will eventually be passed on to others through her someday. And those others who receive that kindness from her will pass that on to others. What you started is a chain reaction of kindness, a good thing these days.


P.S. I would like, as others would, to read your story you posted originally. I would venture to say that even reading something like that might encourage other people to help in the same manner if given the opportunity.
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Stan Pope
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Re: This is what it's all about

Post by Stan Pope »

DerbyChamp wrote:I guess I made the mistake of believing that after 20 years of dedicated volunteer service promoting positive parental involvement in the pinewood derby, that persons of goodwill would give me the benefit of the doubt and assume that when I spoke of helping a little girl build a car, that I would do it in a manner which was beneficial to the child.
I made no presumption regarding actions. I only took issue with the words you used to describe them.

Since you are a role model for other mentors, the story would be a better guide to them if such important mentoring details were not skipped.

Edit: BTW, I went back to see if I missed something about your "pedigree" ... 20 years, etc. ... and see that your profile information tells me that you are from McKinney, TX, and you respond to the name "DerbyChamp". Not much else! Did I miss something?
Stan
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Re: This is what it's all about

Post by TAL »

Derbychamp,

I had the oppurtunity to read your story just moments after you posted it and I for 1 thought it was very considerate and thoughtful and it did bring tears to my eyes (also very much like the little Johnny story that preyed not to cry when he lost and everyone thought he was preying to win)...

My understanding of your story was very polite and to me did'nt need any more explanation of age or any other defense because to me it was a very clear and considerate story...

But then again, I did'nt try to read between lines and just took the story as what it was
Someone stepping forward and trying to make a difference in a little girls life....

I commend you on your efforts and wish you had'nt removed your story, It was a very good one just as it was...
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Re: This is what it's all about

Post by Mr. Slick »

DerbyChamp - congrats on sharing. Not everyone here is as critical as some. Take it with a grain of salt and keep sharing. A lesson shared is still shared - even if it isn't a perfect teaching model.

Thanks for helping the kids!
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Go Bubba Go
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Re: This is what it's all about

Post by Go Bubba Go »

Mr. Slick wrote:Take it with a grain of salt and keep sharing. A lesson shared is still shared...
Well put.

David, I also enjoyed your story, and would appreciate a repost if you so desire.

Stan, I also appreciate your reminder, as while David later described the time he took to ensure the girl was "fully engaged", I will confess that I find myself overreaching at times.

I am hardly one to comment on how to avoid such misunderstandings in a "text only" format, as I have on several occasions had what I meant to be stern warnings interpreted as mere suggestions, and likewise had what I meant as mere suggestions interpreted as the written equivalent of "a trip to the wood shed". :oops:

But as Mr. Slick said, I take it with a grain (sometimes a shakerful) of salt and keep on going.

Regards,

Bubba

p.s. Did I mention I liked David's story and would like to see it reposted? :wink:
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Re: This is what it's all about

Post by PWD »

David, I would love to read the original story. I did not see it before you pulled it.
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Stan Pope
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Re: This is what it's all about

Post by Stan Pope »

Go Bubba Go wrote:Stan, I also appreciate your reminder, as while David later described the time he took to ensure the girl was "fully engaged", I will confess that I find myself overreaching at times.

I am hardly one to comment on how to avoid such misunderstandings in a "text only" format, as I have on several occasions had what I meant to be stern warnings interpreted as mere suggestions, and likewise had what I meant as mere suggestions interpreted as the written equivalent of "a trip to the wood shed".
I've tried to avoid further "pot stirring", but I should relate some aspects of private communications.

I did not recognize the writer from the limited profile information as having more than average (for Derby Talk posters) experience. As it turns out we have comparable experience and intention. To some extent, I was misled by the choice of words in describing his intervention. As described, it seemed typical of the interventions of many parents and some lesser experienced "helpers" who substitute their own skills for those of the car's owner. Triggered (one of) my "hot buttons".

While I share the warm feelings of having helped a youngster whose parent either "Just didn't have it" or who, in this case, appears to have almost totally abdicated, it is important that we, as would-be role models for others, discriminate between desirable modes of intervention and undesirable modes. If the intervention only rearranges the race final standings without teaching and skill building, then no real service has been done. In fact, it may be a disservice if it breaks down the parent-child relationship or seems to reduce the accomplishments of others in the competition. (Now some other kid is in last place!)

The comparison to the "praying not to cry" story is appropriate only to the extent of emotions felt by the writer. The messages are very different!

Another aspect is that in our interventions, we need to be teaching both parent and youngster, and not substituting for the parent. The abdicating parent presents us with a conflict: in teaching the child we are also teaching the parent that it is okay to abdicate! Rightly or wrongly, most of us resolve the conflict in favor of teaching the child. I'm not sure that this is most beneficial for the child in the long run.

Be all that as it may, kudos for DerbyChamp for lending a hand to this needful youngster!
Stan
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